Dancing with Jesus
Originally written Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Wishing we could just talk today. Catch up. Hear how your day has gone. Have you tell me about your morning walk and the errands you ran around town. What you’re cooking for dinner. Sometimes I wonder if all I did during our conversations was complain and lay out all of the things I wanted you to “fix”. I looked to you to fix a lot. You always seemed to know what to say. You brought a new perspective to my problems and reminded me to be thankful. But, did I ever just let you know that I was happy? That you loved me well? That I am grateful you are my mother? Or did I only talk about work, the stress of my day, where I wanted to be in life instead of where I was?
I guess that’s one thing losing you has taught me—to stop focusing on where I want my life to go and take joy in where it is. Expecting life to look a certain way or feel a certain way—it simply doesn’t work like that. I’ve figured that much out. I believe that when it’s all said and done, I’ll look back and say life was more than I expected. More happiness. More pain. More love. More loss. More anger. More forgiveness. More mountaintops. More valleys. And then, there’ll be no more of any of it. There will only be joyful peace. And that’s where you are Mom, joyfully at peace.
A man much wiser than I once said, “instead of ‘RIP’, I want my tombstone to read ‘DWJ’—dancing with Jesus”. I believe you’re dancing with Jesus, Mom. Meaning you’re more alive now than you ever were on this earth. Remembering your signature dance move brings a smile to my face. Hands in the air, head flung back and some sort of a skip or a hop. It was special. I have no doubt you’ve taught everyone in Heaven how it goes. Thankful I’m remembering a little part of you I hadn’t thought about in a while. We’ll talk soon.